"My problem was that I didn't think gambling was the problem, I thought it was the answer.
I was only playing blackjack maybe two or three times a month, never winning or losing more than a few hundred, no big deal or anything you know. Then I had some personal problems and I started playing a lot more, just to cope or whatever. Sometimes I was there 24 hours straight, one time 32 hours.
My problem was that I didn't
think gambling was the problem,
I thought it was the answer.
A bunch of times I was late for work because I was playing and lost track of time and I kept getting written up. I forgot to pick up my daughter at daycare sometimes. I also missed her flute solo in the school concert because I was playing and forgot the time. But I didn't care much then because I had to have that fix I could only get from the game. Nothing else seemed to matter.
"I forgot to pick up my
daughter at daycare
I went through what I guess you'd call a depression. Nothing made me happy except for 21. If I wasn't playing I was obsessing about it. I got pretty distant from my wife and my kids, my friends too. I started having money problems you know so I gambled even more to try to make up for it. And my debts got even bigger and so did the other problems.
My wife didn't know I was gambling all that time. She thought I was running around on her because of the money problems, and she never know where I was, she could tell I was lying a lot. I finally had to tell her what was up because of all the money I owed. She convinced me to get counseling and at first I did it for her. Then I did it for myself. It wasn't easy but getting help let me keep my career and my family. I can tell you that's way better than any win I ever got from blackjack."